home

I will readily admit that I am still on a search to figure out what the word "home" means. I always make note of passages when I'm reading that try to define "home", or that talk about what "home" means to the writer. And at some point in the future, I think I might like to take a stab at defining it for myself. But more research needs to be done, I think. :)

This quote comes from "Letters to my Daughter", a book by Maya Angelou. I was flirting with the idea of buying it for my kindle... and I am still tempted, but I kind of feel like I want to read a novel. I've been reading too much nonfiction lately (and kind of depressing nonfiction to boot).

Anyway, here's the quote. Let's think about it.

"I believe that one can never leave home. I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears and dragons of home under one's skin, at the extreme corners of one's eyes and possibly in the gristle of the earlobe." - Maya Angelou

Here's another quote. It's from a book called "Let the Great World Spin", which I read in January. It was a pretty good novel, in case you were wondering. I'd recommend it. This was one of my favorite quotes from the book.

"We bring home with us when we leave. Sometimes it becomes more acute for the fact of having left." - p59

And finally, this picture is from the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin, Ireland. I liked this quote, as well.

Interesting thoughts, I'd say. But let the research continue. Feel free to add your thoughts and quotes about home in the comment section!

...I think I'll hold it.

Remember how I told you in my last post that I have two favorite cafes now? How one is an old church, converted into an art cafe by day and a nightclub by night? (It's called Circulo de Arte, by the way... lovingly referred to as Circulo.)

Well, tonight I decided to pay a visit to Circulo. It was a nice visit. It's really a great place; awesome architecture, classy decor, soft lighting, peaceful music, nice ambiente. But I do, unfortunately, have to issue one little complaint... and this complaint goes for pretty much the rest of the cafes, bars, and restaurants in Spain as well.

THE BATHROOMS.
The bathrooms in Circulo are quite possibly the worst I've ever seen. I mean, really. It's like a prison toilet. (And I know, because they are the same toilets that the inmates have at the jail in Pittsburgh!) Just steel fixtures. No seats. Nothing. I mean, I know this place is a nightclub by night, (and, let's face it, those can always be rather disgusting)... but the fact that the daytime patrons are also subjected to this prison-style potty is just undignified.

You don't know just how much luck it takes to actually find a bathroom in Spain with all of the following things in it:
1. A toilet seat
2. Toilet paper
3. Soap
4. A reasonable means of drying your hands

These are pretty much the four most essential things that you could think to put in a bathroom, right? (I mean, aside from the toilet and sink themselves, of course.) But here, you might just be asking for a little too much! Rarely do you find a bathroom with all four of these necessities. But you're usually lucky if you get two. (My preferences, by the way, are toilet paper and soap.)

Since arriving to Spain, I've had to master the art of squatting. (TMI? maybe...) I've developed the habit of carrying tissues (aka, emergency TP) at all times. I've had to use my pants as makeshift paper towels more times than I can count. And I really need to start carrying hand sanitizer as well. Just think, though: a whole society that forgoes hand-washing after toilet-using! Scary! Maybe that's where the free health care comes in handy! (Please note: my tongue is firmly plastered to my cheek.)

Maybe Americans are just a little too anal about their bathroom needs (pun only slightly intended). But until the rest of Europe, or Spain in particular, catches up to our standards, we Americans are just going to have to equip our purses with the bare essentials! And in the meantime, if you do come across a public restroom here with all of the aforementioned accoutrements, you might as well make your way to the nearest lottery shop soon after, because you're probably just as likely to hit El Gordo.

Soul Food

So I know I have a lot to catch you up on. And I will, I promise, but not all at once. Poco a poco, as the Spanish would say. While I have the ganas, I'm going to just give you short little snippets into the most recent tonterías that my life is consisting of.

I will start with THE most recent. Because literally, this took place about 10 minutes ago. It's hot off the presses. I just got back from the best cafe in Toledo. I went there for the first time a few weeks ago, when the folks from SIS were visiting. This little gem is an Arabic tea shop, and I'm in love. The decor is gorgeous. The music is rockin' (Sunday Drivers, Michael Buble, Barry White, Louis Armstrong, Johnny Cash, Moulin Rouge soundtrack, Semisonic, etc, etc.). And the tea isn't too shabby either. It's my kind of place. I already have a favorite cafe (an old church, converted into an art cafe by day and a discoteca by night), but now I think I might have to share favorites. Not a bad problem to have.

The second newest thing (as of 3 hours ago): I am going to Germany next weekend! My roommate and I will be flying into Frankfurt, and we are going to be staying with a middle/high school friend of mine. I'm pretty excited for this little excursion! It's spring! And I've got a mad case of cabin fever! And I'm thinking that the German air will be a nice change of pace for the soul.

THIRD newest thing, though arguably the most noteworthy (as of 36 hours ago): I will be living in Andalucía next year! Despite my ever so typical procrastination, I did get my papers in on time (I submitted my renewal application the day before it was due). I am really excited about the change of locale. I have asked to live in Sevilla capital, so hopefully that happens. As much as I have loved living in Toledo, I think that I would have a very different life if I moved back to Sevilla, and I think I need that.

I am not sure what else to update you about. Work today was rather pointless. The first class had an exam, and the second and third classes didn't have their regularly scheduled teacher (she is away for 2 weeks!). I did end up leaving an hour early (NICE!) which made me happy, but sitting around all day makes me feel a little less than great. But I suppose you'll have days like this.

Oh, maybe I should also tell you that I am really into Spanish these days. I forgot about reading my book in Spanish, but I've started again. I'm still not far. But I've also rented a grammar book from the library, and it's awesome. I'm actually studying and learning things for myself. And I suppose a little bit of self-motivation and self-improvement are also good for the soul.

Though I haven't "given up" anything for Lent, I am committed to making positive improvements in my life. I am trying to feed good things to my soul. I learned a word today from the newest edition of Readers Digest, which some kind stranger has secretly subscribed me to. The word is Russian, and it expresses an idea that English has no single word for.

Toska. "At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels, it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases, it may be the desire for somebody or something specific, nostalgia, lovesickness. At the lowest level, it grades into ennui, boredom."

I'm afraid I find myself with a bit of toska. And I'm not sure why (in keeping with the definition). But I'm trying to do something about it. So this Lent, it's all about the soul food, about finding myself, and most importantly about finding God again.

This was all sort of a ramble... whoops.
But anyway, it's nice to see you again.

seguro estoy que jamas nadie te ha querido como yo

Dear blog and faithful blog readers (all 2 or 3 of you),

I know that I have been neglecting you. I promise you something good.... in the near future.
In the meantime, enjoy this video, and fall in love with Carlos Baute. But don't fall too hard.



This is probably the cutest song ever. And if you like it, youtube "Colgando en tus manos". So good!

AH! I promise an update soon!
Os mando mil besos!!

facebook status overload.

How do you know you're lonely? ... Well, one indicator is that you can think up approximately 5 new facebook statues in 30 seconds because you've had nobody to share things with all day.

So here goes:

#1(The current status): I just mopped the whole apartment with a fragranced floor cleaner called "dama de la noche". The whole time I thought I was using prostitute-scented cleaning product, but it turns out that "dama de la noche" is actually a type of flower. Booooooring.

#2: I think I'm empty-nesting. Isn't this a little backwards?


#3: The only downside to leaving a day early for a weekend getaway is having to make it up the following week. (ie, what I will be doing tomorrow).


#4: My lack of patience is always evident by my index fingernails when I paint my nails. They are always chipped and smeared because I cannot not do anything for 3 minutes. And second coats only get worse....


#5: 
......well, the cleverness is wearing off, but it would be something about how it's really really late, and I am really really tired, and I have to get up really really early for a really long day. 


...And that's code for goodnight.

I'm not dead. Not even close.

My lack of posting has not been for a lack of things to post about -- because trust me, I have a lot to post about.

My mom and Marian are currently here, and it has been great. I have had many moments of utter disbelief while just sitting in my kitchen, or in my bedroom with them -- I can't believe that they are actually here in the flesh. Kind of strange, but definitely awesome.

We went to Dublin this last weekend, and it was great. It was homey. And so, it was perfect to be in a more homey, familiar country (ie, more similar to the US) with my mom. It was a nice break from Toledo. As much as I love Spain, I loved getting away for a weekend. I loved the carpeting in the hotel, the fact that they sold bagels in the grocery store, and that, for the first time in months, I was surrounded by people who had blonder hair and lighter eyes than I. But of course, upon my return to Spain, I fell in love again with hearing Spanish. But that's not really surprising.

What is surprising though, is the mini-identity crises that I've been working through since my mom has been here. I'm trying to reconcile my lives in a way. Or, maybe I'm forced to reconcile them. I don't know. But it's been interesting. I have been thinking a lot about what I am doing here, who I am here, who I was at home, what I want to be doing in the future, and who I want to be. Allowing somebody in to see this part of my life has made me think about things in new ways. And this is good.

My mom will be here until Monday. And I'm sure I'll still be mulling things over long after my company leaves. But until then -- we're heading to Cadiz this weekend, to soak up some solar rays on the beaches that won't be warm enough to swim in. We're renting a car, which is only a dream come true. And who knows, I may even learn to drive a stick -- if Marian is brave enough to teach me! So many dreams coming true in such a short amount of time. I am loving this.

So anyway-- I promise you more in the future.
besos!

Off My Game

I feel like I've been a little off of my game these last couple of days. But I mean that in the best way possible. I've seemingly been on a see-saw of 'game on-ness' and 'game off-ness'. Luckily, the 'on-ness' has been winning out. But the 'off-ness' provides for good stories, too.

Friday morning, my alarm never went off. I awoke to a text from Rosa that said "Estoy en el autobus. Estas bien?" .... to which I shouted "MIERDA!" and hurriedly sent a text explaining what had happened, and asking who I could catch a ride with for second hour. I got a hold of another ride, no problem. I was just an hour late, and missed one class. I felt so horrible, but everyone responded in the same way: "eh, no pasa nada. It happens/has happened to all of us." But here's to hoping it doesn't happen again!

Despite the hectic start to the day, it ended up being a rather good one. I had made some banana muffins earlier in the week, and I told some people that I would bring some in for them to try. So I took 6 muffins. And everyone shared them and loved them, and they told me how great they were, and they asked repeatedly for the recipe and for a second batch next week. To which I can only respond, "I'd be delighted".

The weather was so gorgeous on Friday, and I ended up taking a marathon walk (which was not actually 26 miles long) around Toledo. I ended up running into my roommate, who, coincidentally, was doing the same thing. So we walked together along the river trail for a while. It was great. It has recently been so sunny and warm during the days, and it gives me hope that spring is upon us. I occasionally still freeze during the night, but I am happy to report that those goosebumps that I feared were permanent a month ago have gone away. Thank goodness!

Yesterday morning I again awoke to a rather hectic situation. This time, I woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing. I thought maybe it was the landlord, who had come to get the spare room ready for my mom's arrival. Nope. It was definitely one of my students. I definitely had a class. And I definitely forgot about it. And yes.......... I definitely conducted the class in my pajamas. How horrible is that? So unprofessional, right? And the first thing she said to me? "Estabas de fiesta??" .... whoops. I guess there's no hiding it with day old make up on my face. So classy, Rachael. So classy.

The rest of the day was good though, and productive. I went grocery shopping, I went to a castle-turned-hotel and had some expensive natural tea. I went to a crepe-party, and yes, it was just as awesome as it sounds. And then I went out with some friends, and it turned out to be a rather entertaining night. Good times.

So you see, no matter how 'off my game' I may have been these last few mornings, I have been fortunate enough to straighten myself out by the day's end. I'm okay with how things are going, but I could definitely do without the chaotic wake-up calls! Today I woke up without an alarm, without an agenda, and I still ended up eating macaroni and cheese for dinner... so clearly fantastic endings don't require such frenzied beginnings!

In other news, MY MOTHER IS CURRENTLY ON A PLANE, ON HER WAY TO SPAIN!!!! Finally. And I'm really excited! It's after 1am. And I have to get up in a few short hours to get ready to go pick her up from the airport. But I can't sleep. I suppose there's always time for a siesta tomorrow. :D